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For this same reason, you can learn to become more sociable through time and practice. The first step is to develop a healthy mental image of meeting new people. Some of us see meeting new people as a scary event. We are concerned about making a good impression, whether the other person will like us, how to keep the conversation going, and so on.

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The more we think about it, the scarier it seems. This initial apprehension develops into a mental fear, which takes a life of its own and unknowingly blocks us from making new friends. Shyness toward others is actually a result of fear. I think not. If so, start small first. Lower the difficulty of the task by starting off with your inner circle of friends, i.

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Some ways to do that:. Once you are out there with people around you, someone has to make the first move. Get to know each other a little better!

Read: 10 Rules of a Great Conversationalist. Maybe someone who is understanding, listens, has the same hobbies, watches the same movies, has similar educational background, etc. Give the friendship a chance to blossom. More importantly, give yourself a chance with this budding friendship. I have several very good friends who come from totally different backgrounds, and I would never have thought that we would be so close when I first knew them, simply because we are so different.

On the same note, open your heart to the person. This connection between you and the other party can only begin when your heart is open. This means to be trusting, have faith, and believe in the goodness of others. When I make new friends, I open myself fully, with full faith that they are good people, with good hearts and good intentions. I notice that because I do that, it has helped me foster a lot of genuine relationships which are built on trust, love and faith. I know that because I can feel the warmth from all of you whether in your emails, comments, or messages.


A friendship is about both you and the other person. Get to know the person as an individual. What defines the friendship is the connection between you and the friend. Show warmth, love, and respect toward everyone you meet. Care for them like you would yourself. If you approach others with genuinity, you will attract people who want to connect genuinely. Among them will be your future true friends.

How to make friends as an adult: 3 simple steps - Business Insider

Why do I say that? Say you make many new friends by being vocal and brassy. What happens then? Comment on the weather, or the smell of the room, or something on TV last night … regularly.

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This is step one to building trust. After you DTT, wait a period of time, and then refer back to the thing you divulged to them! You are creating an inside joke. And then again, weeks later. Then they should get the hint and ask you to hang out, too. Now you are friends. When I first got to college, I immediately felt an unshakable isolation. I went the University of San Francisco, but my best friends from college went to other schools in the Bay Area. What brought us together was music. There were times when I went to shows alone, and that was hard.

But once the band started playing, I forgot about how embarrassed I was to show up solo. Music brings people together. In high school I had a hard time making friends, so I tried to make it easier on myself in college. I chose a college with small classes. I pledged a sorority so I would have built-in social activities. I joined the crew team so that exercising would be social, too.

The best way to make friends is to be curious about people. When you start a new job, transmit the message that you are friendly by peppering co-workers with bite-sized questions about their lives and jobs.

5 Tips for Making Friends with Shy People

Most people will think you have demonstrated good taste by being interested in them. Move on. I worked my first job in a small college town in North Carolina.

Being gay in a conservative state added another wrinkle. I never found a group of friends like I had in college. Instead, I wove a fabric of unconventional friendships, many which I still maintain.

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  5. I made friends with local musicians and scheduled coffee with professors on campus. I found these friends when I stopped looking for people who shared my age and interests and when I stopped letting fear of embarrassment or awkwardness get in the way. Scheduling phone calls with my long-distance friends helped. So did widening the radius on dating apps. But leading up to the unceremonious axing, it was a stressful experience. I needed to find something to help take the edge off. There are two things I recommend to every something year old. Take an improv class and see a therapist.

    And improv is an incredible experience. You get to create new worlds out of nothing. I have a habit of relocating, having done so nine times in 15 years. Continuing Education classes were a great way to meet new people and I got to try new things like graphic design or drawing.

    Many companies have HR budgets to fund that, use them!